Today I received an email from my high school friend Mark with an update on "the gang". It seems that I'm one of the last hold-outs in the marriage and career department: out of my 8 close guy-friends 5 are married, 2 are "heading in that direction" and one is doing his own thing; one couple is expecting their first child and 5 out of the 8 are living in far-off exotic places....well, San Diego, Chicago, Chapel Hill, Boston (way to go Matt on getting into Harvard Business school!!), and Seattle. Out of the 2 close girl-friends that I've kept in touch with, one is married (Katie, aka Best Friend) and one is engaged. In a weird way that makes me feel old and sorta out of place in that removed part of my life.....not because I'm (so) not feeling the need to get married and am quite happy doing my own thing, but because all of my high school friends are living adult lives, with houses and dogs and yards and full time occupations. I was once an "adult" under that definition, with a full time job and lots of free time. Currently, I'm craving some stability! I want a house, a yard, a dog, an occupation. I want to have wine and cheese parties and be a member of an art museum and voluteer at the Children's Hospital and put more energy into being creative and exercise 10 days a week and go to kick-ass concerts and see amazing movies. Oh, yes, I
could do all of that now, but school is the priority and I'm
fucking broke! Free time and money is what I need :) But....at the same time I'm not quite ready to leave the educational environment. Damn, it's a double edged sword, isn't it? Go back to the working world and do all the things that I currently want to do, or stay in academia and lay the foundation for a more successfull career that could enable me to accomplish more of the things that I want to accomplish in the long run? I need a job that allows me to work while going to school......hmmmm.....maybe I should just get a GSI position or something.
My solution in 2-steps:
1) Stop bitching. I'm in control of my life. It's all give and take.
2) Be more productive when I can so I'm able to do more of the things that I'd like to do, while creatively coming up with cheap ways to do them.........dollar movie, anyone? Actually, they're $1.50 after 6pm--dollar movie my ass! ;)
PS:
while it may seem that I'm unhappy with my current circumstances, I assure you that I'm having an amazing time being a student, living in Ann Arbor, and grateful for the people in my life. The above rant is probably due to grumpiness brought on by midterm stress. Love ya!I LOVE GRAD SCHOOL!
1 comment:
don't worry j, there are quite a few of us in the same position as you are...and will probably be there for even longer than you are, haha! the majority of my friends are in similar situations as your gang, but i like where i'm at as well. grad school, although stressful at times, does indeed rock...especially here at Michigan in A2! ok, maybe i should go get some of that work done so all this school does end up paying off down the road <:><
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